Workout: None :( -running on coffee-fumes
Yes, kids -> sleepless nights.
Last night was a crazy one filled with angry cries in the middle of the night. My little BB was not a happy camper! A second cup o'joe and some walking breaks have given me some added energy today, but I can't do much about the bags under my eyes - those just give me away!
How do you handle sleepless nights?
I know, I know - look at me. Sliding right in, not even mentioning the fact that I've been MI(Blogging)A for close to a month. I don't even know where to start.
Turns out, I had a little lemonade cancer scare a last month. I went in to my annual exam one Friday morning, thinking nothing of it. I was devastated, walking out of there with orders for my first mammogram and a diagnostic ultra-sound in my hand.
Devastated. So many emotions, no words!
My doctor wasn't too worried about it. She described it as small, soft and moveable but wanted to get it checked out since I have a history of breast cancer in my family. The test was scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving and we were close to TWO weeks away.
I won't lie, I cried like a baby that weekend and didn't know if I could wait that long. Anytime I caught a smile from my BB, a glance from RC, a call from my parents, a laugh with my brother or a text from my friends - you name it, I nearly broke down and cried.
Thoughts of things that I needed to do, to be prepared for; to take care of my BB; to not be forgotten; to pass on my love...
Even as I write this, tears fill my eyes - I'm not prepared.
I was blessed to have been reunited (through facebook) with a high-school buddy who is a breast cancer survivor. She's absolutely amazing and provided so much support that weekend. I will be forever grateful.
I'm also blessed to have a very pro-active husband who got me into an appointment that next Monday.
I'm sure you've heard that mammograms are the worst, but really - it wasn't bad. The lady tech was amazing and showed me all the pictures and told me I did have fibrocystic breasts but she couldn't find anything on the first shots. They did the ultrasound (that tech was not as nice), then did two more shots of my left breast with a sticker over the area where we felt the lump. Those shots showed a little bubble, almost painted-on which gave her a clear indication that it was grease/oil cyst.
That weekend made me think about so many things, but nutrition and lifestyle choices took on a whole new dimension; not to mention - my whole relationship with God! I kept thinking of this very special lady and how she described Jesus as this spirit who provided tremendous comfort and support. I found that so beautiful. I'm most blessed to have Him in my life.
I know, not your standard sugar talk over here - but that described my last month. Anything but standard!
I saw this today, and would have probably done the same thing given the situation.
I will keep her and all the women out there dealing with this terrible disease in my prayers.
All in all, Thanksgiving flew by along with my BB's flu-shot reaction, some friends and family, too much food, Christmas decorations and the realization that I married Mr. Grisswald himself. I am very thankful!
I'm also very thankful for this healthy-living blog community and for this blog. I hand't really taken the time to think about that whole breast cancer scare and some of the things I "learned" that weekend quickly fell off my radar. Writing this post has made me remember the WHY I write this blog in the first place.
Healthy living is something I choose to do, for so many reasons. It's not just something I can "say" I do, it's a lifestyle - something that requires me to actively make that choice. Every.single.minute of this beautiful thing we call life.
Have you ever dealt with anything similar to this? When was the last time you performed a self-breast exam? Wanna brag about the last healthy choice you made? Mine would be quitting this never-ending post to try and catch some zzz's. Let's hope there are no angry cries tonight :)